Halloween Tips & Tricks

Halloween is still a month away and my 4-year-old is already asking to make decorations to scare the neighbours! ("But not really scary ghosties, mama... friendly-looking ones!") Other than Christmas, Halloween has got to be her favourite holiday. I mean, the opportunity for decorating is immense (she decorates everything), so this is just another chance to dive in and have fun!

To put it mildly, decorations and other Halloween-related items (costume, candy to hand out, giveaways for classmates at school, etc) can really add up. And, in this economic climate, who has money to burn? So, I thought I'd share with you some great tips (courtesy of our amazing Facebook and Twitter fans) for having a blow-out Halloween without blowing your budget.

• Do a costume exchange
• Get a costume that your child(ren) can spend the next year playing dress up in; the cost won't seem so bad then.
• Never buy a NEW costume; source them at thrift sales, consignment stores, etc.
• Find a theme the whole family can do! The kids love when you get dressed up with them!
• We always make a trip to the farm in late September for hay and corn stalks to decorate the front of our house. It gets the kids in the fall mood and they start looking forward to Halloween.
• For classmates, make gift bags without candy for once - foam stickers and craft halloween paper from the dollar store did the trick! Parents and kids alike loved the idea.
• With leftover pumpkins, my toddler loves hammering golf tees into them - a great way to practice his fine and gross motor skills.
• Buy your costume at Old Navy the day before Halloween - all costumes are $2!

And, on that note... happy money-saving to you all! :)

Having It All

When I hear the phrase “work-life balance”, I kinda chuckle. It seems to be this elusive thing that everyone wants (and some claim to have), but for me it’s a daily work in progress.

Years ago, I worked for a big corporation – and they espoused the merits of the work-life balance. (Despite the references to it in their HR manual, they actually didn’t do much to promote it… but that’s another story!) At the time, I was married with no kids, so it wasn’t much of an issue for me. Years later, I knew we wanted to start a family and made a move to a smaller company where, I thought, I would be able to have some work flexibility. And I did – for about two years – until my department suddenly had a new manager… who didn’t have children. 

Yes, that was the death-knell for my coveted work-from-home-two-days-a-week routine. It didn’t make sense to me because I had not missed one deadline, conference call or quarterly goal. In fact, because I worked from home part of the week, I actually worked harder – if only to prove that I could do it and not let my job slide. Yet, because of one person’s closed-mindedness, I lost my work-life balance. Oh, how I enjoyed being home with my little girl… it made me feel like I was raising her, not her daycare. I cherished those two weekdays, even if it was challenging to get work done; I’d gladly work into the night (after her bedtime) to finish my tasks.

Fast-forward two years, and another baby, later. Now, I can say with all honesty that I have it all – time at home with my kids, a wonderfully fulfilling career… and a dirty house and bags under my eyes! LOL 

I’m truly blessed to be able to spend so much time with my kids and still do what I love, but there will always be trade-offs. The bags under my eyes can be camouflaged, the crumbs on my floor and dust on my furniture can be (eventually!) vacuumed, but my kids won’t be kids forever. So, yes, I feel like I have it all. And, so can you – if you don’t sweat the small stuff. :)

I Could Do Without The Back-Talk...

What do you do when your kid talks back to you? Any suggestions?

I’m at the stage where my 4-year-old knows how to push my buttons...with the word "no". If you were to walk by my house on any given day, you may hear raised voices and defiant cries. In an attempt to better deal with these trying times, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about why kids do what they do. And, when it comes to defiance, it’s a completely normal developmental stage – more about kids asserting their independence than wanting to make us miserable. (Good to know!)

The experts admit that when power struggles happen, many parents feel a sense of urgency to gain control over their kids; they feel that this is a sign their child will run amok later in life. In fact, (and I quote Today’s Parent magazine) “obedience isn’t all it’s cracked up to be; after all, we want to raise a child who has the gumption to stand firm in the face of peer pressure down the road.”  True... but, isn’t it always easier said than done? I mean, when it’s YOUR kid who's refusing to leave the local pool when all the other kids have willingly done so, it's tough to think “hey, this is normal!”. I have definitely learned that I don't need to control my child, and when I loosen the reigns and give her a bit of slack, she's more open to my requests. I've also tried to make sure I devote a good amount of time each day to her and her alone; time she knows she has me all to herself (when her little brother is napping). This has helped build a more cooperative bond between us. 

This parenting gig is definitely challenging… and, one that doesn’t end at 5 o’clock! But, if I treat these moments as opportunities to build up my child's confidence, mould her wonderful, witty, personality, and help her realize her full potential, then it's all worth it. What an exciting and inspiring challenge, indeed.

Out of the mouths of babes…

Have you ever heard the phrase "Kids say the darndest things"?  Well, it really takes on new meaning when you have your own kids and they're the ones saying "the darndest things"!

The other day my daughter and I were driving past a…er…I guess we’ll call it a gentlemen’s club, and she spotted pictures of scantily clad women on its exterior. She looked thoughtful for a moment, then came out with a zinger - “Mommy, those girls are not very kind… they’re not following the rules. You’re not allowed to leave the house without your clothes on!”. Well, I laughed so hard that I almost cried!

Kids are so observant - more than we give them credit for. As we all know, it’s usually the stuff we don’t want them to see / hear / remember that they do. And they are honest, almost to a fault. I remember one time we crossed paths with a “biker dude” wearing a bandana over his long hair. My preschooler proceeded to point at him and announce proudly, “Look, Mama, a pirate!”.  (Just so you know, she LOVES pirates!) But what’s a mom to do? I kindly pointed out that he probably wasn’t a pirate and, even if he was, it’s not nice to point and stare.

Our kids have a knack for catching us off guard and doing inappropriate things at the most inopportune times. They really do keep us on our toes, don’t they? Sometimes I wish I could be that honest and uncensored. (Well, actually, some adults are and it’s not necessarily a good thing!)  My kids teach me to not take everything so seriously, make me smile when they notice something I’d never normally see… and, while it’s not polite to point and stare, that is the only way they’ll learn the rules of civility and courteous behavior. 

So, to all those biker types out there, please don’t be offended if you see a cute little 4-year-old pointing and calling you a pirate… to her, that’s the greatest compliment she could pay you! :)

They Grow Up So Fast!

My daughter, with a "big girl" braid!

As the summer slowly comes to an end, I am reminded that this is the start of a whole new era for my 4 year old... she's going to "big girl" school in the fall and there's nothing I can do to stop it!  ;)

It's always bittersweet watching my kids outgrow one phase, while beginning a new one. Just the other day, my baby took his first (unassisted) steps. I actually teared up, saying to my husband that this is the last time I'll ever experience one of my babies walking for the first time (we're stopping at two...).

Don't get me wrong, I'm the proudest mama on the block when my kids master their latest skills, but sometimes I just want to slow things down and have some more time to savour the little things. My kids are growing up before my eyes and time is moving too quickly. (Wait! I haven't even taken hand and foot prints of my now-14-month-old! Arrrggghhh! What happened??  Add that to my to-do list!)

I can take comfort in the fact that my daughter's life will be greatly enriched by all the new experiences she'll have at school - making new friends, learning new things and, most of all, developing independence and self-confidence that will help shape who she is as a person. I look forward to all the wonderful stories about her days at school and will revel in the fact that, while I'd love for her to stay little, it's magical to see her growing up.

Change is Good

My daughter won’t eat apples. (Or pears, peaches and melon for that matter, but don’t get me started.) What kid doesn’t eat apples? Really… that’s just weird. She’ll eat everything made of apples, but not an actual apple.  I’ve tried to explain that you have to try something to know if you like it or not. But she’s afraid of change, I guess. She sticks with what she knows and likes, and I can’t complain because she’ll willingly eat broccoli and asparagus (go figure, eh?). I find it ironic, then, in my quest to instill in my children that "change is good" – give up a bad habit because it’s better for you; make new friends because you’ll have more fun; try a new sport because you’ll like it – that I struggle the most with the idea of change.

Many people would characterize me as being outgoing, opinionated (maybe too much so, at times) and friendly, but I sometimes have a hard time moving outside my comfort zone. I try not to let my kids know, for example, that I’m afraid of heights (ladders = bad; airplanes = okay) and that I really don’t like bananas.  But, sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you’ve just gotta go with it! A few years ago, I was laid off from my job and had to seriously think about my next steps. I had never before been in that position, and it really scared me… the thought that I didn’t have a job to fall back on and didn’t know what the future would hold.

Fast-forward two years, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. While I’m very busy with work and my family responsibilities, I realize that I am extremely fortunate to have the kind of flexibility that I couldn’t have achieved at my old job.

So, while my kids may not listen to me when I tell them change is good, I hope they can see by my actions that Mommy can roll with the punches, that change really IS good, and that we’re all better off for it. :)

Been Around The Block

French fries. Television. Large chunks of food. What do these things have in common? These are things I would have NEVER imagined letting baby #1 experience. But, guess what? I'm more relaxed with baby #2 and, at 14 months of age, he enjoys them.

Now, before you pass judgment and give me dirty looks, I want to clarify something – I’m a good mom. Not perfect (by far!), but good. I do not give my kids french fries on a regular basis, only occasionally. And, as far as television is concerned…well, it’s easy (they love Dora & Diego!) and it keeps the kids occupied at the end of the day while I get some work done or make dinner. Giving baby large chunks of food, on the other hand, was a tough decision. I have a real fear of my kids choking, so that was a big one to be able to let go of.  I do the best I can and am getting better each day at realizing that it’s okay to be imperfect.

One upside to this whole thing is that baby #2 is so independent, even at such a young age. My goodness, he feeds himself already (and has done so for the past month). The food actually makes it into his mouth! Yeah, I’m shocked, too! ;)

Why, just yesterday I took a few pictures (for posterity) of him playing nicely by himself with his toys. He was occupying himself…didn’t need me…and I couldn’t have been more proud.

With all the talk about Helicopter Parenting and the like, it’s great to know that my “imperfections” as a parent may just be helping my kids.  And, hey, did you know that lemurs come from Madagascar? I didn’t either... until my daughter told me. She learned it from watching Go, Diego, Go.